The Stuff of Stars

Many women who are familiar with the life and ministry of Christ will often type themselves as one of two women: as either a "Mary" or a "Martha." These two women, sisters of Lazarus, were dear friends of Jesus and are mentioned several times in the Gospel for their friendship and support of Jesus' ministry. Mary is revered in Christian circles for being the sister who sat at Jesus' feet and anointed him with precious perfume. Martha, on the other hand, has been a bit maligned, I believe, for being the sister whom Jesus gently admonished for criticizing Mary for not helping her in the kitchen. I've been thinking quite a bit about Martha lately, and I think she's gotten a bad rap.

You see, I know quite a few wonderful women, and a handful of you are reading this right now, and if I put you on the spot and asked, I am sure you would all say that you are a "Martha." You'd generously display your faults of various Type A kinds, like being a control freak, a task oriented duty bound self-proclaimed martyr, and you would immediately apologize for these things. You sweet girl. You have no idea how much you are loved.

Through all the craziness of the past year, I have come to love and cling to a fantastic story in the book of John, chapter 11. It is the account of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. I first came to love the story because, more than once over the course of the last year, I observed things or people proverbially dying in front of me, and I needed desperately to cling to the One who could bring dead things back to life. My love for Jesus has grown just by reading and re-reading this story: He is so purposeful, mysterious, direct, loving, and powerful in this story. But I also came to love Martha. Here's why.

Jesus is walking down the road toward Lazarus' home in Bethany; Lazarus has been dead now for four days. Martha gets word that Jesus is coming, and she goes to meet him, though Mary stays behind. Martha is such a DOER. I love it! She knows He is on His way, but she can't wait. She must go and meet Him on the road. Martha pursued Christ, even as He was coming to her.

When she sees Him, she greets Him by saying, "Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask." This statement kills me every time I read it. It is dripping with the complex emotions of her circumstances. She knows Jesus is the Son of God, and she knows that He could have healed her beloved brother. She has absolutely no idea why He didn't; He healed complete strangers, for crying out loud. But Lazarus was His friend! And even more personally, Martha was His friend. Where the heck had He been?! "But even now ..." she says, and this always makes my heart beat, "even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask." Ugh. What gut wrenching hope against hope that statement was. It's an amazing statement of faith. Notice, too, that it isn't really a request. Martha has a hard time asking for what she really wants or longs for. It is difficult for her to address her own needs.

Jesus told her, "Your brother will rise again." "Yes," Martha said, "he will rise when everyone else rises on the third day." See, ya gotta love a girl who starts spouting theology with the Messiah in the middle of a crisis.

Jesus told her, "I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying ... Do you believe this, Martha?" "Yes, Lord," she told him. "I have always believed ..." Martha's dependability, her unswerving sense of direction, her steadfastness come in real handy at times like this. Because sometimes, too many times for us, Jesus arrives 4 days too late. When He does, what's a girl to do? What are any of us to do? Especially when we are doers. We want to do something to make things right. We want to read books and check things off of our Holy Character To Do List and participate in outreach committees and all in the name of making ourselves right. I wonder if that's why Martha insisted on doing so much in the first place. Was she trying to measure up? And yet, Jesus was the one who invited her to take a load off. And even in the midst of her trying and striving and doing, even while she tended to her dying brother and no doubt prepared his dead body for burial, she always believed. She always believed. Martha's faith brought glory to God; it was as great a thing as what was to come.

Later, at the door of Lazarus' tomb, Jesus declared that the stone be rolled away. Martha says, and this is hilarious, "Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible." Uh, Jesus, I don't know if you want to do that. Have you ever smelled a decomposing body? I LOVE MARTHA! Pragmatic to the end! The details are verrrrry important to this woman. She really can't help herself. I have to imagine that Jesus appreciated her idiosyncrasies as much as I do and that He kinda smiled when He said, "Didn't I tell you that you would see God's glory if you believe?"

His response to her is so important to me. He reminds her, but He is patient with her. He doesn't say she'll see it if she keeps her mouth shut, or keeps cooking fabulous meals, or keeps the floor mopped, or submits to her husband. He only asks her if she believes that He is who He says He is and that He can do what He says He will do, both for her and for who she loves. That's all He asks.

And then Jesus spoke, and a dead man walked out of a tomb.

The story stops here. No eyewitness news accounts after the scene is over are reported. How these events affected this headstrong woman are almost lost to history. I have a couple of theories though. I'll bet she cried. I'm sure she shed a few tears to hug her brother again, but when the day was done, and she was in her bed alone, I'll bet Martha cried that deep cry that comes from the bottom of the soul. Because that day, Martha saw Jesus be who He really was, and she didn't do anything. She was powerless but Jesus did everything she couldn't do herself, and I'll bet that was the day she finally knew who she was. She was loved.

In the next chapter, John 12, Jesus is back at their house having dinner with Lazarus, "the man he had raised from the dead." Martha served.

I love Martha. She's a real character. She cracks me up. She irritates me sometimes, and she is a little disappointing at times. She is real. She is a salt of the earth kind of gal, the kind that makes the world turn. I love her. I have realized that I have alot of Marthas in my life. My new friends on Thursday nights, my old friends from college. My best friend from high school. My best friend from church. My best friend from college. There is even one among us whose patron saint is Saint Martha. I believe I'm being represented by one in court. I am surrounded by Marthas! It's nothing to work your way out of. Jesus loved Martha. He just didn't want her to think that her doing would do Him - or her - much eternal good. He simply asked her to believe. And she did, and it changed her life and all those around her.

This issue of "doing" vs. "being" is going to come up again, but for now, if you commented on my "mad as hell" post, I responded in the comments section, so check it out.

I've never felt more like Rod Dreher in my life!

Let's clarify just a couple of things before we move on:

First of all, thanks for all the very sweet comments! You guys are very kind. You may not believe it though it's true, but I actually did not post my recent rant in order to receive any accolades or encouragement for myself. I was, in fact, very angry and wanted to hear what all 12 of my loyal readers had to say.

That being said, far be it from me to turn down or away from any pat on the back. Those who know me are aware that my engine runs almost entirely on aggrandizing, so please, feel ever free to send me on my next ego trip!!

Finally, I came across a fascinating interview with Andrew Stanton, the director of WALL-E, and his comments tie in very nicely with all of this. Here is a bite of what he has to say, but you should definitely read the whole article:

"WORLD: How does WALL•E represent your singular vision?

STANTON: Well, what really interested me was the idea of the most human thing in the universe being a machine because it has more interest in finding out what the point of living is than actual people. The greatest commandment Christ gives us is to love, but that's not always our priority. So I came up with this premise that could demonstrate what I was trying to say—that irrational love defeats the world's programming. You've got these two robots that are trying to go above their basest directives, literally their programming, to experience love.

With the human characters I wanted to show that our programming is the routines and habits that distract us to the point that we're not really making connections to the people next to us. We're not engaging in relationships, which are the point of living—relationship with God and relationship with other people."

I'm mad as hell and I'm not taking it anymore.

Please indulge my following rant.

There seems to be a pervasive lie within the subculture that a Christian woman, no matter where she is in her life, must strive continually to be better and better and better and better. If she has children, she needs to be a better mother. If she does not have children, she should. If she is married, she must be a better, more submissive wife. If she is not, she must find a Godly husband. If she is working inside of her home, she must keep a certain kind of home. If she is working outside of the home, why? She needs to pray more, memorize more Scripture, read more books, spend more time with her husband, watch less TV, stop eating after 6:00 pm, and bake moister brownies. She must grow grow grow because she is not enough. Who she is is not good enough. She is less than she should be, and therefore, she is unworthy of the love, affirmation, affection, and validation that she so desperately longs for in the dark of her soul.

I call these things lies because I believe that they are. I believe that there is one who would like nothing more than to keep our eyes focused on who we are not, rather than who we really are. The fact is that all of us are LOVED, right where we are at, in this moment, whatever the task or circumstance or situation. All anyone wants is to love and to be loved in return. What a great weapon against us, this belief that we are not good enough to love or be loved at all.

There is a HUGE difference between humility and humiliation.

And I also refuse to believe that the answer to a heart's cry for love is a book. I'm not talking about the Bible, but rather, Christian books. I love books, and I read all the time. When I read, I love engaging ideas, connecting through the page to the author, and entering into a larger conversation. But I'm sorry, the answer to my heart's cry is never, "I have a book that I want you to read." A cognitive application of the issue never solves the deeper problem, and a response so devoid of human contact never touches the real issue. How about, maybe, we are all human and the journey is hard, and hey, you are wonderful and you're doing a great job.

I see so many women being so hard on themselves. Heaven knows I have been hard on myself! I am just angry tonight that we believe this lie that we are unworthy to be loved by the One who created us SIMPLY TO LOVE US. The truth is, if you are alive and reading this, you have a great purpose. God loves you, right where you are at, and He offers this love to you already fully aware of how you don't deserve it and HE DOESN'T CARE.

Grace.

I am angry with a post-industrialized western culture that rejects faith and mystery. I am angry with the modern Protestant paradigm that keeps women convinced that, if they are not doing [fill in the blank] enough, then they are not eligible to receive and experience God's personal love. I am especially angry with the evil one for being so damned successful with this one.

I am nowhere near done with this, and I refuse to put any caveats on it. My readership here is small but diverse, so leave a comment. I am mad as hell and I'm not taking it anymore.

O Lord, hear our prayer

Enemies have driven me into your embrace more than friends have.

Friends have bound me to earth, enemies have loosed me from earth and have demolished all my aspirations in the world.

Enemies have made me a stranger in worldly realms and an extraneous inhabitant of the world. Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelter than an unhunted animal does, so have I, persecuted by enemies, found the safest sanctuary, having ensconced myself beneath your tabernacle, where neither friends nor enemies can slay my soul.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

They, rather than I, have confessed my sins before the world.

They have punished me, whenever I have hesitated to punish myself.

They have tormented me, whenever I have tried to flee torments.

They have scolded me, whenever I have flattered myself.

They have spat upon me, whenever I have filled myself with arrogance.

Bless my enemies, O Lord, Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Whenever I have made myself wise, they have called me foolish.

Whenever I have made myself mighty, they have mocked me as though I were a dwarf.

Whenever I have wanted to lead people, they have shoved me into the background.

Whenever I have rushed to enrich myself, they have prevented me with an iron hand.

Whenever I thought that I would sleep peacefully, they have wakened me from sleep.

Whenever I have tried to build a home for a long and tranquil life, they have demolished it and driven me out.

Truly, enemies have cut me loose from the world and have stretched out my hands to the hem of your garment.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Bless them and multiply them; multiply them and make them even more bitterly against me:

so that my fleeing to You may have no return;

so that all hope in men may be scattered like cobwebs;

so that absolute serenity may begin to reign in my soul;

so that my heart may become the grave of my two evil twins, arrogance and anger;

so that I might amass all my treasure in heaven;

ah, so that I may for once be freed from self-deception, which has entangled me in the dreadful web of illusory life.

Enemies have taught me to know what hardly anyone knows, that a person has no enemies in the world except himself.

One hates his enemies only when he fails to realize that they are not enemies, but cruel friends.

It is truly difficult for me to say who has done me more good and who has done me more evil in the world: friends or enemies.

Therefore bless, O Lord, both my friends and enemies.

A slave curses enemies, for he does not understand. But a son blesses them, for he understands.

For a son knows that his enemies cannot touch his life.

Therefore he freely steps among them and prays to God for them.

From Prayers by the Lake by Bishop Nikolai Velimirovich, published by the Serbian Orthodox Metropolitanate of New Gracanica, 1999. Bp. Nikolai Velimirovich was a Serbian bishop in the last century who spoke out courageously against Nazism until he was arrested and taken to Dachau.