Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Sugar and Spice vs. Snakes and Snails

I just had a passionate and inspiring conversation with one of my favorite women. My friend, a passionate and inspiring woman herself, always stretches me with her compassionate and thoughtful intensity and her heart for people and ministry. When we talk, we always walk off the beaten path to the thicker parts, the important parts, because it's as if we can't even help ourselves. Two intense women on the phone will always find a way to try to solve the problems of the world!

I don't even know how we got on the subject, but we started talking about leadership and sexism in the church. We both have received callings in our lives for ministry, and we met in college where we were being equipped in these callings. Our life journeys have taken us to different places on the road, though. She is pursuing a calling of leadership in the church, and I no longer am. My friend is discouraged. She has been in many leadership roles in the church and experienced sexism so much that she feels that the church is hierarchical and views women as the lesser sex. I think many (maybe even most) people view the church like this as well, so I thought I would take just a moment to get on my little box here and share my own view with the 7 of you.

Before I do, though, I will pause for a brief moment to share how many times I misspelled the word "hierarchical": six.

Okay, moving on.

I think this issue is important and one that relies on perspective. 15 years ago, I was pursuing a career in church leadership, and for reasons I both know and don't know, I've never been fully raised up or released to be a full-time church leader (pastor, minister, etc.). My life has taken many twists and turns since then, and throughout the journey, my perspective has changed. I used to be fairly progressive and believed that women should be empowered to do anything in the church that a man could do. I don't believe that anymore. Not because women are a lesser sex but rather because women are the more honored sex.

It is clear that God has always honored and revered women because of the way He treats them. He has always given them an honored place in history; it is humankind that has been guilty of sexism, not God. The Bible is full of examples of incredible women who furthered God's work on earth because He raised them up to do so. (Great examples: Deborah, Esther, Abigail, Lydia and my favorite, freaking Rahab.) In fact, when Jesus was raised from the dead, the first witnesses of the gospel were not men but women. He entrusted His good news to women first and required that the gospel be spread by a man listening to a woman. This happened within a culture that would not allow women to testify in court because a woman's testimony was "not reliable!" The gospel and the church transcends and transforms culture! Here, it makes women so important in the church that the good news was given to them first and the ministry of sharing it with the world was given to them first. The good news spread because of women. So God does not keep women out of the work of the church; He was the one to raise them up in the church in the first place.

But full time church leadership is extremely stressful. I'm talking about eldership that guides, directs, teaches, and disciplines. The inner as well as outer demands on the person in this position are absolutely enormous. It breaks the back of the soul. God requires a sacrifice from His servant leaders that is so taxing and difficult, and frankly, it's one of the hardest and most thankless jobs on earth. (Only one other job compares with it in my mind, and that's parenthood.) I think that God loves women so much that He doesn't want us to have to do put up with the crap that pastors have to put up with. The attacks from the evil one, from church members, from the world ... God loves women so much that He wants to protect us from that. He gives the grunt work to the guys.

I don't believe this is sexist at all but actually rather beautiful. I think we see a type of this in the way that God made us in our romantic inclinations. "When a man loves a woman, she can do no wrong ..." and all that. Okay, so the song wasn't written by St. Paul or anything, but the truth is, a man works very hard to love his woman and when the love is true, all the sacrifices he makes are for her. A true man never works for his own gain but rather for the gain of those he loves. In this lies his true strength and power.

If our full time pastors and elders truly looked at themselves as servants, then the act of serving is an act of loving and honoring. Everything they do is for the glory of God and the gain of others. If men, who are called to be the head of their home as Christ is the head of the church, are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her, then it is logical to conclude that these same men - married or not - should give their lives in leadership of the church for all. And God says, "Ladies, I love you so much that you are off the hook for this one. Let the guys sweat it out." It doesn't make me think that God loves girls less; it makes me wonder if God loves girls more.

Now for the disclaimers. Yes, I think that women can and should be ministers in the church. The first ministers of the gospel, again, were the women at the tomb, and so they are our examples. I know of many women who have staff positions at churches who teach, lead and manage ministries. Being an elder or pastor is a different role, though. No, I do not believe that a conservative view of women in church leadership automatically means I believe that women should not be allowed to speak in church or that they should cover their heads. Context, people. Babies and bathwater.

So, there you have it. I do apologize for the lack of Scripture references; I admit that I'm lazy. I'm just thinking off the top of my head here.

4 comments:

Linda said...

I have always loved your heart. Your interpretation and belief of women in the church is interesting and endearing, yet, brings up a myriad of questions for me :) Surprised?

This part of your blog spurred on a lot of thoughts for me, "I think that God loves women so much that He doesn't want us to have to do put up with the crap that pastors have to put up with. The attacks from the evil one, from church members, from the world ... God loves women so much that He wants to protect us from that. He gives the grunt work to the guys."

I don't see the evil one to be a respecter of persons or positions. Just as parents we do our best to protect our children from the world, yet evil happens right under our noses. Do we prepare our children or do we position them in a bubble that eventually is outgrown by them as their minds begin to form their own conclusions? And haven't you just been an attender at a church and have been hurt by the people?

If we are called to be followers of Christ, we already have a mark on us :) Also, if God wanted to give all of the difficult grunt jobs and hardships to man, why not add on the pain of child birth as well? Why split hairs on the leading a church thing?

I guess the questions that elude me is how do we determine which leadership positions are acceptable or not? Every demonination has their own definition of what leadership positions include. Most Baptist churches have women on the Elder Board. The Elder board is able to override the pastor, so does that qualify as a role over a man?

In some churches women can minister to the children/youth and even the women, but not able to speak to men..in today's society and culture that seems really odd, don't you think?

The scriptures talk of the mutual giftings for ministry. To name just a few women as apostles (Romans 16:7), deacons (Rom 16:1; 1Tim 3:11), evangelists (Phil. 4:2-3), prophets (N.T. references Acts 21:9; 1 Cor 11:5), patrons (Rom 16:2), teachers (Acts 18:24-26; Titus 2:3-5), prayer leaders )1 Cor 11:5), overseers of house churches (Acts 12:12), the ministry of hospitality (1 Tim 5:10)...just to name a few, these are New Testament references (thank you Keener and Bellevelle for the help).

All of this to say is that the church structure and model has changed drastically since the early church as well as women and their worth within time, space, and culture. Man (humans) has placed emphasis in areas that I don't believe God intended and it is really difficult to find unity when our focus is on position and authority and not on the fullness of our responsibilities as Christian servants to the church as a whole (the people, not the building).

As I always say, if God could use a donkey, why can't he use me? LOL!!

Lynn said...

I recently placed an order with these people: http://www.headcoverings.com/

Amo Ergo Sum said...

Lin, I am amused that you find my position endearing. I hope you don't pat me on the head the next time you see me, or I may have to hurt you. :)

Let me repeat to you again that I truly understand where you are coming from. I also understand that my perspective is unique and eclectically informed without a ton of personal experience. There are a couple of things in your response that I want to reflect on.

First, you said, "I don't see the evil one to be a respecter of persons or positions." I categorically disagree. The evil one is on a specific mission to destroy all of us, but I absolutely think that a larger target is painted on those who do greater damage to his cause. I see this described in Scripture (ex: Job, the prophets, King David, Paul and the apostles, and the best example, Christ Himself) as well as many around me. The evil one doesn't seem to pay too much attention to those who don't thwart him ... those are the ones who are turned over to themselves. But he's after the powerful ones. I'd say that the leaders of The Church would be pretty powerful for the Kingdom, and that would make for a pretty big target.

It is God who is not a respecter of persons, and that is for salvation.

Also, I didn't say that God gives all the grunt work to the guys. I see it as the exact opposite; He gives grunt work to all of us. (Don't I know this.) Still, don't we all have different callings and roles? Can a hand be a foot? I don't want to split hairs; I just want to know how God wants for His people and do my best to live within His best. It is He who designed us; I'm just saying that I see His design differently than I used to.

I think you touched on a huge concern. I think a key to this is to be in a local church body that is structured as closely to God's design as possible.

You rock on with your bad self and your Scripture references. Your perspectives are never empty. :) And for what it's worth, your calling is valuable to me, and to God, so much more than a donkey! You minister to me all the time. I'm always going to want to know what you see and think, and I am always praying for you: that the Lord will raise you up in His calling for you and that He will bring you out of this wilderness to the land He has promised you.

Love you.

Linda said...

Pat Pat :) Just kidding!! I totally agree that the greater the influence, the greater the attack, yet, as many of us know, we don't have to be in front and center to be womped on by the evil one. If we are believers that are called with a purpose and live our lives that way, we are a target. I pray that I will always be a threat of snatching people away from his grasp regardless of earthly position!

About roles, of course we can't all be feet. Some are called to be apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers (Eph 4:11) But it is He that calls :)

I just am so blessed by God's word and the freedom it brings.

"For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female; for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. And if ye be Christ's then are ye Abraham's seed and heirs according to the promise." (Galatians 3)

I am so happy that you are my sister in Christ :)